Thursday, July 24, 2008
Dear Diary,
It rains today. The rain poured down on me, michelle and HX. This isen't any bad rain though. Ever wondered sometimes things like this are not your one of your unlucky days? Well this rain had something special about it. It sort of elates me, letting me start afresh on something. Kinds of like heals all the wounds and drives away pressures and stress I've been having. Even with it's cold and hard droplets that seems to slice at my skin, it's special. It dosen't hurt. Moreover, it heals! This is that kind of rain that dosen't seem to spoils ones mood or interrupts a basketball match. It's like, God's Holy Water. I never like to hold an umbrella or bring up my hood whenever it rains. That kind of behaviour sort of runs in my parents' blood and so I was taught to do so. During secondary school days I've always love the rain. Not all of them. Ever had that feeling where maybe the O'levels are near and there's so many pressure and stress? Your friends are doing so much better than you and you're so far behind? Being encouraged by both your friends and teachers and you feel you can't let them down? That pressure and tormenting emotions seems to like squeezed up into a ball inside of you which needed to be let out? Then one day, after school, after that day of disaster where you got back your Mid years and you seemed to be failing all's expectations, it pours. Those tiny droplets suddenly let out a huge mountain of water. And it feels good dosen't it? You might find it as a punishment from maybe God or something but it could be that the rain is washing away everything? Sins, stress and pressure all gone in one wash. I used to stand in that one rain once. The cold howling wind seems to caress my skin and whisper encouragment. I feel cold outside but warm inside. It's a feeling that needs experiencing it rather than hearing descriptions.
There was also once during Secondary 3 or 4 where Mrs Lim Koh asked me to help 2 uncles carry boxes of packet water for PTI (Parents Teachers Interaction). I obliged without hesitation.
There were many boxes and these 2 uncles seems to be slacking. I carried 3 boxes from the 1st floor to the staff room every one trip and they carry one. Anyways, I was sweating rather fast after the first trip so it's clear cut that i'm dripping wet when I'm finished. I went home after that and before I reached home, when I passed by my staircase, a sudden gust of wind came blowing through. It's not those kind of winds where they blow sand into your eyes, this one feels some sort of...special. The hard work I put in in helping moving boxes finally pays off. It's like getting rewarded. Not only the wind sort of evaporate my sweat quickly, it made me kind of happy again.
Strange? It's up to you to decide and how you look at it. Only experiencing it will allow you to get that kind of feeling. But somehow, somewhere in your life there's these experiences, only you're oblivious to it.
Jojo,"Do not catch up with the winner, but surpass the winner".
